What is Mindfulness?
Mindful
We hear this word a lot growing up, but no one ever really explains what it means. "Be mindful of what you are doing", "Be mindful of others", etc. are common phrases we hear and say on a regular basis. But what does it really mean to be mindful?
Mindfulness has taken an upswing in popularity in western mental health research and practice as well as mainstream culture with the help of, in my opinion, yoga and Buddhism becoming "trendy" in the early 2000s. It's a good thing! We've learned a lot from research over the past decade. Even schools are getting onboard incorporating mindfulness over in Europe: https://www.mindfulnessfoundation.org.uk/teachers/ . We still have a ways to go though in regards to spreading the word of what mindfulness really is and how to do it. Eastern cultures and philosophies have been incorporating mindfulness and mindful practices into their societies for centuries and western culture is just starting to get on the bus with this.
Why has it taken so long and what do I mean by "we have a long way to go?" Western culture thrives on instant gratification and even when we say we want to "slow down" and live minimally, it's hard not to get caught up in the fast-paced, consumer driven culture western societies have established. There is hope, many of us are trying to create more mindful societies here in the west. I referenced the Happiness Trap in my last post, which talks a lot about accepting the present moment. This book primarily focuses on Acceptance and Commitment-based Therapy (ACT), which, mindfulness is a useful tool in being present in the moment so you can accept it as it is.
So that's what mindfulness really is. Being present and taking note of what is happening externally and internally in that moment. Way easier said than done! Our brains are naturally preprogrammed to analyze the past to learn from the experience so we can A) avoid any threats (this goes into associations and how rational or irrational fears can develop- a post for another Monday) and B) Potentially do it better next time. Problem solving! Our brains are also naturally preprogramed to look into the future to strategize so we can avoid threats and achieve our goals. This is part of how creatures on earth survive. It's also been very helpful for people to develop the advanced societies we have today. The downside is, the only purpose of being present, in the brain's opinion, is to be aware of potential threats while keeping a dual awareness on how you will handle these potential threats by thinking of multiple alternate scenarios at the same time... Sounds kind of like that time you walked alone at night or that time you were thinking of excuses to tell your boss why you were late, or when you were a kid and thought of how to get away from any potential monsters or robbers that might come into your house. All of us do it, it's how the brain has kept our species alive this long. The brain is not preprogramed to really enjoy the moment. It's more programed to enjoy the potential future however- meeting the goal our brain has set up to activate our pleasure center.
Think of your favorite dessert. Our brains get very excited and activated at the thought of eating that dessert, but how many times have you sat down (especially when you were a child) and devoured the whole thing so fast you didn't really get to "enjoy" it. You barley tasted it and you stiffed your stomach full and now you have a mildly satisfying tummy-ache. We need to teach our brains to enjoy the moment, not just the potential future moment. That's why we're doing this right? We know, from research, humans are happier when they learn to be content with the present moment. Being present also helps with our insights on how to handle a situation and it gives our brains a nice break from going to our Flight/Fight/Freeze response I talked about last week. My next point being, the human brain is programmable; but it's difficult, especially if your cultural values are not congruent with values of being present and content in the moment. Like I said, some Eastern cultures have been doing this for centuries and have incorporated it into their culture. Mindfulness and acceptance of the current moment are the bases of Buddhism.
So how do you do it? The first thing you need to practice, is resisting the urge of instant gratification and learning how to tolerate delayed gratification. Essentially, for example: instead of having the cookie right now, I can have the cookie later after I eat my dinner. or the idea of "I won't have a six pack by exercising once". This is the first step because mindfulness and ACT take time and practice before you really see the benefits. This is a sort of life style, but it doesn't need to be this drastic change that we see franchised on TV. It's about staying committed to small, manageable changes one step at a time. It's not easy to turn our thoughts off because our brains are doing what it's programmed to do- 1) Watch out for potential threats to safety, 2) strategize how to avoid threats and meet goals, and 3) analyze past events to learn from them. This is what our brain naturally tries to do and when we try to tell it not to, our brain resists. It's different and reprogramming the brain takes intentionality and patience.
Second step: Given everything I said in that last paragraph, be kind and patient with yourself. This is a new skill, and like any skill it takes time and practice. Something that helps with the frustration is a technique called "noting". When you're starting out with mindfulness just take note of the thoughts, feelings, and sensations that come up. Don't judge them or worry about them. Do be curious about them but resist the urge to analyze them. Just take note of them and then go back what ever it is you decided to be mindful on.
Third step: Choose one thing to be mindful on. That's right! It isn't just about clearing your thoughts and sitting seeing blank darkness with your eyes closed. Mindfulness utilizes the senses to help focus thoughts and energy. Progressive muscle relaxation is a popular technique that has you focus on various parts of your muscles and will have you focus on tensing and relaxing them. Here is a script you can read through and try at home: https://www.law.berkeley.edu/files/Progressive_Muscle_Relaxation.pdf
Breathing is also a common and good first area to focus on when practicing mindfulness. Our lungs are the only organ that we retain control of when we go to flight or fight and our breath helps our body tell our brain if we need to go to fight or flight or if we are safe and can remain calm.
For caregivers reading this, start early! Teach these skills your children. Here's a link with 8 steps on how to teach children mindfulness and incorporate it into your family.: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sarah-rudell-beach-/8-ways-to-teach-mindfulness-to-kids_b_5611721.html
Give it a try after reading this. Find something to be mindful on for 5 minutes and see how you feel. This doesn't have to be a regularly scheduled practice either. It can be incorporated into small 5 to 10 minutes portions of your day and you'll find that if you stick with it and stay consistent, your mind will start to be mindful more naturally. In my next post I'll expand more on the different senses and different mindful strategies.
If you know of any helpful mindful techniques for adults or children, please comment on this blog to share your knowledge.
Thank you for reading! Take care and be well,
-James